Thursday, July 31, 2014
Guardians of the Galaxy - Bad Reputation - J.D. Coughlan
The Guardians must venture to the DSV (Department of Space Vehicles) to pay a fine on their spaceship. Upon entering, the crowd inside starts panicking, fearing the Guardians are there to rob/shoot-up the place.
Panel 1: Wide shot of the room, a drab office filled with various aliens running around screaming. The Guardians (movie line-up) stand at the entrance in the background. Quill rubs his temples in annoyance. Gamora looks disgusted. Drax is stone-faced. Rocket wields a giant gun. Groot is Groot.
QUILL: Oh jeez.
GAMORA: You said this would be simple.
DRAX: This is damaging my calm.
ALIEN 1: It's the Guardians of the Galaxy!
ALIEN 2: They're here to rob us!
Panel 2: Two shot of Quill and Rocket. Quill is annoyed, Rocket shrugs it off.
QUILL: I told you not to bring a gun. That is not helping our case.
ROCKET: You're just jealous of my massive weapon.
ROCKET: I'll settle this, ladies.
Panel 3: Rocket fires the giant gun into the air. Quill shields his face from the blasts.
SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM
ROCKET: Everybody shut their face and stay in place!
Panel 4: The aliens stop and stare at Rocket. They are now very nervous.
GROOT: I am Groot.
ROCKET: What he said.
QUILL: Okay, listen up. We don't want any trouble...
Panel 5: Close up of Quill as he holds up a wordy piece of paper.
QUILL: Does anyone know where we process a G44 form?
END OF PAGE
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The tone of the whole page is tonally perfect. You've got everyone's voice down solid, and the last panel is a solid payoff. Super page, JD.
I really like your concept and your page executing it. A fun, playful tone that fits in pretty well with either the comic or movie version of the team.ReplyDelete
My only complaint would be that there's so much going on that no one moment gets its time to shine. I recognize that we're limited by our single page, but spreading this out a little might make the punchline even stronger.
Can I be ballsy here - could you do this in 3 panels? Panel 1 - crowd screaming. Panel 2 (largest one) - The Guardians standing at the entranceway, each saying their piece. Panel 3 (small) - head shot of Quill, asking about the form.ReplyDelete
Quick and to the point so you get to the punchline quicker. I don;t think you need to spell out the gag as much. Let the reader think about it and come back and read it a few times to get the gag.