Thursday, July 24, 2014
Komodo - Us vs. Them - J.D. Coughlan
Follows on from this script.
Panel 1: The same shadowy room from the last page. Doctor Connors sits tied to a chair, the lizard-man standing over him, gloating. Other lizard-people standing in the background in robes.
MAN: So, Dr. Connors, if you will simply revert back to your true form...
Panel 2: The lizard-man turns to look at one of the robed figures (Komodo) elbowing another in the face. The other guys in robes are also startled.
KOMODO: Sorry to gatecrash the party.
Panel 3: Komodo, still concealed by her robe, fights off the other robed guys, successfully. The lizard-man watches in shock.
MAN: What is--!? How dare you intrude on a sacred ceremony! The Order will not let you live!
Panel 4: Close up as Komodo punches the lizard-man hard in the face.
Panel 5: The lizard-people now all lying unconscious. Komodo pulls down her hood. Connors reacts with surprise.
Panel 6: Komodo bends over to eye-level with Connors, with a serious expression.
KOMODO: If we're gonna get out of here alive, Dr. Connors, we're going to need...
KOMODO: The Lizard.
END OF PAGE
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Oh my GOD, I remember Lizard week! That first piece was fantastic, and this is a very fitting continuation. Cool reveal and tight fight sequence, though I could have dug a touch more fighting. Just, wow. Great timerrevisiting an old favourite week. Thanks JDReplyDelete
This is a great continuation, J.D. Good call on picking up on the loose ends posited by your old script, and you do a most excellent job of it. Wicked page turn too.ReplyDelete
If this was a direct continuation, I would be tempted to move up Komodo's reveal to panel 1 to either cut down on total panels or give the quick fight a bit more breathing room.
Either way though, it's a solid idea executed well.
It's always fun to see people bring up previous scripts they've used here on Thought Balloons - or even scripts other people have used - and get away with exploiting the loophole to dig beyond just a single page across multiple weeks. I think you've done a good job using that loophole here, too.ReplyDelete
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice continuation there JD! It ties in well and is a nice little twist when reading both stories back to back.ReplyDelete
My only criticism would be the cartoony nature of the dialogue, unless this is what you were going for. IN which case, top marks!