Panel 1: ANDREW BENNETT is in a nightclub, dressed in dark colors and wearing a pair of shades as he tried to remain inconspicuous. This is for naught, however, as there is a perky and excited looking woman – ALICE - poking her head out from the other side of the short wall that BENNETT’s otherwise empty booth is attached to.
Panel 2: ANDREW BENNETT reacts with surprise as ALICE speaks up.
ALICE: You’re a vampire, aren’t you!?
ANDREW BENNETT: !
Panel 3: ALICE leaps over the wall to get into the booth next to BENNETT. BENNETT, on the other hand, looks at ALICE with a WTF look on his face.
ALICE (1): FANGS!
ALICE (2): I see vampire fangs!
Panel 4: ALICE leans in on BENNETT, practically throwing herself at him. BENNETT looks like he’s trying to say something, but is speechless.
ALICE (1): Take me!
ALICE (2): Make me yours!
Panel 5: BENNETT, still not sure how to react to this situation, scoots away from ALICE.
ALICE: Is something wrong? I can go clean up first if you’d like.
Panel 6: BENNETT plants his face against the table in front of him. ALICE looks confused.
ANDREW BENNETT: (Mumbling) This is why I hate romantic vampire stories.
(I like to think of this as a spiritual sequel to my script from DRACULA week WAAAAY back before I was even a tenured member.)