Saturday, August 2, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy - Hostile Takeover - R.A. Wonsowski

Panel 1- STAR-LORD, wearing his mask as well as a shirt and tie, collar unbuttoned and tie unblocked, in a cubicle facing three computer screens, sloshing a drink in a ceramic coffee mug that reads "Hexus, the Living Corporation". His posture should be anxious and stressed, holding a finger to his earpiece like he's shouting into a phone.

CAPTION: Peter Quill. Star-Lord.
STAR-LORD: NO! NO! Sell, dammit!

Panel 2- GAMORA with her sword drawn, wearing a very stylish suit with a slit up the long skirt, out of her chair about to leap across a conference table at a fat cigar-chomping two-headed blue-skinned alien in a cheap three-piece, pushing his chair back in fear. Stacks of paper are spread across the table...

CAPTION: Gamora. The most dangerous woman in the universe.
GAMORA: Your brains or your signature will be on this contract!

Panel 3- DRAX, bare-chested in a double-breasted suit, stands in front of two display screens, facing down a Skrull and Badoon similarly attired and wielding a laser pointer. One screen has an image of a generic unbranded super hero (a brown-haired Superman with no S on the shirt) clutching his stomach in panicked pain with text that reads "This looks like a job for Krypto-mucil!" The other has a picture of Ego, the Living Planet with a relaxed expression, with a caption that reads "ORB-O-LAX. Oh, what sweet relief."

CAPTION: Drax. The Destroyer.
DRAX: ...with effective marketing we can crush the Deesee universe by next quarter!
BADOON: Quite. Quite.

Panel 4- Lower half of the page. On an exchange floor, ROCKET RACCOON perched atop the shoulder of GROOT, both wearing ties, surrounded by business attired Kirby-esque aliens packed tight waving hand signals off-panel. ROCKET is firing a large laser bazooka over the crowd while GROOT is stabbing a finger furiously into the keypad of a paper-roll calculator.

CAPTION: Rocket Raccoon and Groot. Mercenary accountants.
ROCKET: NO! Adamantium at 7 and 5/8!
CAPTION: Can the Guardians stop the corporate domination of the galaxy by Hexus? Find out in this titanic tale we could only call...NOT BRAND HEX!...A Wonsowski-Giffen joint.


  1. This looks to be the most elaborate set up for what seems (to me) to be an incredibly obscure pun reference to a Marvel series that I hadn't even heard of before Googling what that punchline might be referring to, and for that reason, I absolutely love it.

    The various business settings you plug our characters into are pretty enjoyable on their own, but the reveal that it's all in service of such a silly joke makes it for me.

  2. Yes. Just yes. Well paced panels of the characters and a callback the the 'Not Brand Ech' brand. You've done well with this one. To the point and not too wordy with the dialogue.


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