Panel 1- STAR-LORD, wearing his mask as well as a shirt and tie, collar unbuttoned and tie unblocked, in a cubicle facing three computer screens, sloshing a drink in a ceramic coffee mug that reads "Hexus, the Living Corporation". His posture should be anxious and stressed, holding a finger to his earpiece like he's shouting into a phone.
CAPTION: Peter Quill. Star-Lord.
STAR-LORD: NO! NO! Sell, dammit!
Panel 2- GAMORA with her sword drawn, wearing a very stylish suit with a slit up the long skirt, out of her chair about to leap across a conference table at a fat cigar-chomping two-headed blue-skinned alien in a cheap three-piece, pushing his chair back in fear. Stacks of paper are spread across the table...
CAPTION: Gamora. The most dangerous woman in the universe.
GAMORA: Your brains or your signature will be on this contract!
Panel 3- DRAX, bare-chested in a double-breasted suit, stands in front of two display screens, facing down a Skrull and Badoon similarly attired and wielding a laser pointer. One screen has an image of a generic unbranded super hero (a brown-haired Superman with no S on the shirt) clutching his stomach in panicked pain with text that reads "This looks like a job for Krypto-mucil!" The other has a picture of Ego, the Living Planet with a relaxed expression, with a caption that reads "ORB-O-LAX. Oh, what sweet relief."
CAPTION: Drax. The Destroyer.
DRAX: ...with effective marketing we can crush the Deesee universe by next quarter!
BADOON: Quite. Quite.
Panel 4- Lower half of the page. On an exchange floor, ROCKET RACCOON perched atop the shoulder of GROOT, both wearing ties, surrounded by business attired Kirby-esque aliens packed tight waving hand signals off-panel. ROCKET is firing a large laser bazooka over the crowd while GROOT is stabbing a finger furiously into the keypad of a paper-roll calculator.
CAPTION: Rocket Raccoon and Groot. Mercenary accountants.
GROOT: I am GROOT.
ROCKET: NO! Adamantium at 7 and 5/8!
CAPTION: Can the Guardians stop the corporate domination of the galaxy by Hexus? Find out in this titanic tale we could only call...NOT BRAND HEX!...A Wonsowski-Giffen joint.