1 - Shredder walks amongst a room filled with plenty of defeated Foot soldiers. They lie all around the floor, beaten to within various inches of their life. In the centre of the room is the source of this beating: a bruised and tired Splinter. He kneels in exhaustion from the exertion of fighting so many ninja. Shredder heads towards him.
SHREDDER: The Foot Clan was once a family.
2 - Shredder kneels by a fallen member of the Foot Clan, holding his arm to take his pulse. While near Splinter, his attention is on the prostate figure whose arm he holds.
SHREDDER: Like you and your turtles, I once cared for every man and woman who joined the Foot, watching with pride as they matured and developed into true warriors.
3 - Shredder lets the arm fall to the floor, directing his attention to Splinter.
SHREDDER: But with time, I grew bored of their personal trials and tribulations. All I cared for was that they accomplish what was asked of them.
4 - Shredder now stands above Splinter, a group of Foot soldiers stands around them. They are in silhouette, standing just outside the reach of the room's light, but the Foot logo on their foreheads stands out, a bright crimson in the darkness.
SHREDDER: Unfortunately, your family has proven itself more than equal to the pathetic failures that I once called my own.
5 - Repeat panel, except the shadowy Foot soldiers have stepped forward to reveal themselves as Foot soldier robots. Their skull-like robot faces glare menacingly towards Splinter. The crimson Foot Clan logos are joined by the bright, evil red of the robots' eyes.
SHREDDER: Happily, I've found a better one to take its place.
Now THAT has menace...ReplyDelete
I think you really struck one of the themes of TMNT, what defines a family. The family you are born into, the family you choose, and the family you make (something Andrew Vachss hammers home in his Burke novels). That you encapsulated the theme in a few short panels is impressive, and the Turtles' absence adds to the tension. Really solid page...
The dialogue and the panels work very well in unison here Grant. My only minor quibble is the repeated panel of 4 and 5. You could possible have a wide shot of Shredder dropping the Foot soldier's hand with the shadowed robots (not revealed) coming up behind him here. Then switch to Splinter reacting to what he sees, then Panel 5 being a reveal of the robots. It just switches the page up a bit and keeps the flow of the script going.ReplyDelete
Ooo, good call, Ben. Or even having the Foot bots come up behind Splinter in panel 4 and switching angles to face him and the revealed robots in 5. Good eye there.ReplyDelete