Panel 1- ME, my WIFE, and my KIDS (10 and 6 years old) walk into an Olive Garden Italian restaurant, greeted by SHREDDER at the Maître'd podium. He is holding menus and waving a hand into the table area. I am mildly surprised, but WIFE grabs my arm nervously. The KIDS think being greeted by a man covered in knives is cool.
SHREDDER: Wonsowski. Table for four. Welcome to Olive Garden.
Panel 2- SHREDDER takes our order, writing on his pad of paper. He is imposing, and not making WIFE any more comfortable...
WIFE: I'll have the seafood Alfredo...
SHREDDER: YOU'LL HAVE CHICKEN!
Panel 3- SHREDDER is tossing salad in the giant salad bowl with one claw, while a Foot Clan NINJA grates Parmesan cheese using SHREDDER'S extended other arm, over my younger KID'S lasagna. WIFE is taking a large swallow of red wine. The breadstick basket is empty, and my older KID bravely holds it out to SHREDDER.
OLDER KID: Can we please get more breadsticks?
SHREDDER: Your table will be dominated by their garlicky goodness.
Panel 4- The older KID has a slice of chocolate mousse cake with a candle sticking out of it in front of him; the younger KID laughs and claps as SHREDDER leads a trio of Foot Clan NINJAS in song. Even WIFE is looking at ME with an impressed look upon her face.
SHREDDER: Sing, curse you! SING!
NINJA TRIO: Na-na-na-na-nanaaa, dadah - You say it's your birthday.... Na-na-na-na-nanaaa, dadah - It's my birthday too, yeah....
Panel 5- With a mighty mid-air slash, SHREDDER cuts my credit card in three with his claw. I stand shocked with my wallet in my hand as my FAMILY laugh at my shame.
SHREDDER: Diner's Club?!? You call yourself a man? Have you no MasterCard?!
Panel 6- WE all leave together, to-go boxes in hand, waving goodbye to SHREDDER, two Foot Clan NINJAS high-fiving behind him. WIFE's got her arm around me affectionately and my KIDS are rambunctiously happy. SHREDDER waves back...
YOUNGER KID: I wanna come back for MY birthday!
SHREDDER: Thank you, come again...or I'll destroy you all!