Panel 1: Panels 1, 2, and 3 should all sit in the same row.
SUSAN STORM RICHARDS – the INVISIBLE WOMAN – is in the kitchen of the BAXTER BUILDING. She is facing the panel, and looks like she’s recently gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. In her hand is a cup of coffee.
Panel 2: SUSAN has the same position in the panel, but is drinking from the mug in her hand.
Panel 3: SUSAN – in same position - is looking much better as she holds the coffee in front of her.
Panel 4: SUSAN – same position – is glancing over her shoulder as she holds up JOHNNY STORM and THE THING in force field bubbles behind her.
SUSAN: I’ll let you out when you promise to stop trying to kill each other.
Panel 5: SUSAN – same position – has a knowing look on her face. She’s in REED RICHARDS lab, which is currently on fire, and has put force field bubbles around the flames to help put them out.
REED (1): That didn’t go at all how I calculated.
REED (2): There must be a variable I’m unaware of…
Panel 6: SUSAN – same position – is on top of the BAXTER BUILDING rolling her eyes. DR. DOOM – probably just a DOOMBOT - is in the air behind her. While he’s floating, he’d been knocked off-center by one of SUSAN’s large force-field bubbles.
DR. DOOM: TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT O-UUF!
Panel 7: SUSAN – same position – is sitting on a couch. Behind her are FRANKLIN and VAL, while standing behind them is a monster of which we can only see from the lower-legs down.
VAL (1): He followed us home. Can we keep him?
SUSAN (1): Is it an animal most people would recognize?
VAL (2): May-
SUSAN: (2) No.
Panel 7: masterpiece. I would love to see this whole page drawn up, but panel 7 just made me laugh out loud. *long clap* Bonus points as I laughed out loud again when I remembered it in the middle of church. Well done.ReplyDelete
Love that last panel. The whole thing is great, but the last panel sells it.ReplyDelete
One note: Most artists I've worked with balk at more than 6 panels per page, especially with panels that have as much going on in them as 4 through 7 do here. Individual artists may be cool with more packed pages, but if you don't know who your artist is, I'd be careful about how much you're trying to pack in. You could probably compress panels 1 through 3 and still land on the same effect.
That last panel is the bee's knees. That quick "No" from Susan is pitch perfect and really sells the joke.ReplyDelete
I would agree that the first few panels feel a tad superfluous or unrelated to the main gag as you develop it and could potentially be compressed in some way, but that final joke is mighty fine.