Monday, September 8, 2014

Invisible Woman - Just Desserts - Grant McLaughlin

Three rows.  Panel 1 is the top row, panels 2 and 3 are the middle row, and panels 4 and 5 are the bottom row.

1 - Reed Richards stands in a doorway, smiling candidly at Susan and Ben (off-panel within the room he's looking upon).  He's been leaning on the doorframe, as if he wasn't planning on being there long.

REED (1): ...all that to say that I was somewhat taken aback by Henry's comparatively unconventional views on molecular cosmic metabiological chemistry.

REED (2): Thanks so much for listening!  Usually you guys leave at the first opportunity when I get going on these topics.

2 - Susan Richards and Benjamin Grimm sit at an empty kitchen table, looking back at Reed (and the reader).  They have big, fake smiles on their faces.  As well, Sue looks a little distracted (maybe holding a hand to her temple or looking to the side distractedly).

SUSAN: N-no worries, hun!

BEN: Yeah... anytime, Stretch.

3 - Repeat panel, except Susan and Ben now wear looks of relief on their faces.  They slump into their seats, exhausted from whatever scientific gobbledy-gook Reed has been going on about.  On the table in front of them, a delicious looking cake (cheesecake?) starts appear (as Sue removes the invisibility shields she'd put up around it).

SUSAN: Oh, thank god.  I thought he would never leave!

BEN: Was that really necessary?

4 - Sue takes a fork and starts in on the cake.  She looks seriously in Ben's direction.

SUSAN: Are you kidding?

5 - Cake on the end of her fork, Sue (brow still a little furrowed) points it accusingly towards Ben, who holds his arms up in surrender / apology.

SUSAN: It's bad enough I have to share any of this with you!

3 comments:

  1. Ha! My wife's the same way with cheesecake!

    Actually...so am I...

    Fun script. PS love Reed's diatribe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really loved this. Dialogue on all characters was totally on point. You could probably break panel one into two panels, and maintain a good page flow. (panels 1 and 2 with Reed, 3 and 4 based at the table, 5 and 6 focuses on Ben and Sue.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ooo! Those panel focal points are really good suggestions, Travis. Thanks for the feedback, gents!

    ReplyDelete

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