Monday, January 12, 2015

Doop - DOOPle-Oh-Seven - Travis M. Holyfield

Panel 1: A dead-on replication of the signature James Bond "Gun Barrel" opening, with Doop, in a black tuxedo, pointing a Walther PPK straight at us.


CAPTION: He has a bod like a po-ta-to!

Panel 2: Doop, wearing a parka with a fur-lined hood, skis down a mountain side. Well, he is holding ski poles, but as he has no legs, so that's about it. Bad guys on snowmobiles pursue him, firing short bursts from machine guns.

Panel 3: Doop, wearing a white tuxedo, sits at a baccarat table in some incredibly posh casino. He holds his cards lazily in one hand, staring smugly at his opponent, who is off-panel. A stack of martini glasses has grown next to him. A beautiful blonde woman in a ridiculously low-cut evening gown sits incredibly close to him, her eyes filled with lust and adoration. 

Panel 4: Doop is manacled to a table, while a laser beam cuts upwards towards him. (A direct rip from the "Do you expect me to talk?" scene from Goldfinger.

Panel 5: Doop is in a heart-shaped bed. The sheets are pulled up to cover his lower body. Three gorgeous women in lingerie, one blonde, one brunette, one redhead, lay sprawled about the bed in a state of post-coital comatose. Doop's hands are behind his head in a pose of deep self-satisfaction.

Panel 6: The Jean Grey School. The legs of ICEMAN, RACHEL GREY, and WARBIRD are in a semi-circle, focused on the drooling, unconscious body of Doop. He is lying on a beanbag chair, surrounded by empty bags of chips, open pizza boxes, and discarded beer cans.  He is covered in VHS tapes of James Bond movies.  A TV in the background shows static.

ICEMAN: Yeah. I am NOT gonna be the one who wakes him up.

1 comment:

  1. These scenes are all really fun (and Iceman's interjection at the end is solid), but it would have put this script over the top if you'd parodied the Goldfinger theme throughout the entire page and not just the first panel.


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