Sunday, March 29, 2015
We've got a lot of dialogue in panel 1, but it would be relatively small, with the page's focus being panels 2 and 5.
1 - Doreen stands in a grocery store aisle, her cart off to the side slightly. The focus is on her and her bag, as she discovers that Tippy-Toe has come along for the errand. Doreen is not please, grabbing Tippy-Toe (perhaps by the scruff of the neck) and brings her out of the bag entirely.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Tippy! We discussed this! Regular, non-superhero people like myself don't go grocery shopping with their squirrel companions! It strains credulity.
TIPPY-TOE: Granted, but I needed to stop you from buying all that junky healthy food like fruit, vegetables, and - eugh - seeds.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Um, those things are all really good for squirrels? What else would you want?
2 - Tippy-Toe has escaped Doreen's grasp and runs along the shelf. This would be one of those "multiple pose" type deals, as Tippy appears throughout the panel and shelf in front of (or behind, beside, etc) various foodstuffs, calling out their names as she pauses (plus once at the start where she lands). Doreen would watch on from the right-hand side of the panel so that she can comment at the end, a confused look on her face.
TIPPY-TOE (1): You know, the good stuff!
TIPPY-TOE (2): Cake!
TIPPY-TOE (3): Cookies!
TIPPY-TOE (4): Ice cream!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Conversely, those things are all really bad for squirrels?
3 - Tippy jumps back onto Doreen's forearm (which is maybe being held in a right-angled, "Snow White"-esque manner). Tippy looks accusingly up at her friend, while Doreen smiles down knowingly, pointing at herself with her other hand.
TIPPY-TOE: But you eat them all the time!
SQUIRREL GIRL: That's because I'm a Squirrel Girl.
4 - Repeat panel. Doreen realizes that Tippy's comment was somewhat insulting and doesn't appreciate it. Tippy doesn't much care and keeps dishing it out. Both are getting rather riled up and are possibly leaning towards one another.
SQUIRREL GIRL: And I do not eat them all the time!
TIPPY-TOE: That's funny, because that tub of ice cream emptied itself pretty quickly last night!
5 - Pull back to show the grocery store around Doreen and Tippy-Toe. A decent-size group of grocery store patrons has gathered / stopped their shopping all around and are looking on in great confusion. Some have stopped in the middle of grabbing something off the shelf, holding the pose. Others have dropped items in surprise. Some simply cannot look away. Doreen and Tippy-Toe are in a similar pose to last panel, but both have stopped dead, looking at the assembled group in stunned confusion.
6 - A security guard steps up, and while confused, asks them to leave. Doreen and Tippy-Toe look away, embarrassed (Tippy has climbed up to Doreen's shoulder).
SECURITY GUARD: I'm gonna have to ask you and your credulous squirrel to leave.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Yes, sir.
TIPPY-TOE: Chitty, chit.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
1 - Beta Ray Bill in his pre-Thor armor - the stuff he would have worn just when he got to Earth. He's in what looks like a field, although there isn't much in the way of distinct elements in the background. Bill has one hand to the side of his head, sliding up towards his temple, as if trying to calm his frustration. Facing the reader, he looks off and to the side.
BILL: You refuse to give me your full attention.
2 - Bill starts pacing towards the left, hands nervously grasping each other in front of him.
BILL: You rarely speak.
3 - Bill paces back towards the right, both hands up and splayed in evident frustration.
BILL: And whenever you finally do, it is always in the negative.
4 - Pull back and switch angles to show that Bill is in a field with a couple of very confused horses. Bill grabs the head of the one nearest him with both hands in desperation and brings his own cranium up close in a futile attempt to emphasize his point. The horse is rather disturbed by this, while the others in the background aren't appreciating it much more.
BILL (1): What have I do to offend you so?
BILL (2): Why do you insist on ignoring me?!
5 - Switch scenes completely. Bill (now in his regular Thor getup - or if we want to really yuck things up, wearing a traditional professor's jacket complete with suede elbow patches) is standing at a podium, looking out a room filled with aliens who are seated and looking towards him (like a university lecture, perhaps). The aliens can be of all shapes and forms - established Marvel races and brand new ones alike. Behind Bill can be a blackboard (or something similar) that reads "Living on Earth: Important Things to Know".
BILL: ...it was near this juncture I began to suspect I may have misread which was the planet's dominant species.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Do you dig Norse mythology, but also kind of imagine a world where it was actually horse mythology?
Do you think the power of Mjolnir is fine, but feel like it would be even better if it were equine?
Well then, does Walt Simonson have a comic book character for you!
There are many figures who could make a case for being the poster child for how ridiculous comic book can be, but Beta Ray Bill may be one of the filliest.
He's pretty much an oranger, cosmic version of Marvel's God of Thunder and shouldn't work in a lot of ways, yet is somehow incredibly engaging and alluring. What's the deal? Is there foal play afoot?
I don't know if I could tell you, but I think it would behoove us to explore the question together this week!
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
1 - Outside shot of National War Museum in New Orleans, Louisiana. It's a beautiful, sunny day. People are strolling about and enjoying the weather.
JAMIE (from within): I can't believe it's actually here.
2 - Inside the museum, two people stand looking at the Haunted Tank, which looks to be the institution's newest display. The two figures are Jamie Stuart, a junior curator of the museum and granddaughter of Jeb Stuart (new character), and Valoric (who goes by Val). If you were already aware of Viking Commando, that's some bonus points to you, but his role here is as an aged curator for the museum (he's old, but not as wizened as he should be due to reasons and Viking magic).
JAMIE: My grandfather used to tell me all sorts of stories about this tank...
VAL: It is certainly an amazing machine.
3 - Jamie turns to Val, a concerned / embarrassed look on her face. Val smiles good-naturedly, happy to grant her request.
JAMIE: Um, would you mind if I take a moment alone with it?
VAL: I don't see why not. Seems only fitting.
4 - Jamie stands before the tank, her hand on one of the treads. Her eyes are closed.
5 - Jamie opens her eyes and pulls back her hand in (a positive) surprise as a familiar (to the reader) voice comes from off-panel.
GENERAL STUART (off-panel): Jamie...
JAMIE: You are real!
GENERAL STUART (off-panel): Of course I am!
6 - Pull back to show Jamie looking way surprised by the ghostly appearance of General Jeb Stuart. The General looks the worse for wear, haggard and worn as if he's been up to some ghostly trouble.
GENERAL STUART: And I need your help.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Continuing the prog-rock-fueled adventures of the Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna, having narrowly escaped a Thanagarian warcraft. Today's selection is based on "Tarkus" by (again) Emerson Lake & Palmer.
JAYNA/TARKUS: <THAT'S a Tarkus!!!>
GEN. STUART: Yipe!
...to be continued...
|Hyah! Ride, ya damn yankees!|
|Yes, this happened. You're welcome.|
|Gotta admit, I wish I thought of this one...|
|Hilarious! Family fun!|
|...unless it's a Haunted Tank fighting a giant Nazi War Wheel!|
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Panel One - Rooftop, exterior, night. Daisy Johnson, QUAKE, is looking down the scope of a sophisticated sniper rifle. She is dressed in her S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform.
QUAKE (CAPTION): It was one of Fury's first lessons...
Panel Two - Daisy's POV through the scope. The scope is giving her a thermal Head's-Up-Display of a conference room. Five men sit around the conference table. They are highlighted in yellow. Text in the HUD gives Daisy (and us) important information. One line reads "x1000". A second line reads "Hostiles: 5". A third line reads "Rifle mode: Semi-Auto".
QUAKE (CAPTION): Sometimes you need to use a scalpel...
Panel Three - Continuation of previous. She is zooming out to give herself a view of the entire floor. We can now see that outside of the conference room there are dozens of armed soldiers. spread out throughout the floor. All are highlighted in yellow. One line of text reads "x500". A second line reads "Hostiles: 30". The third line continues to read "Rifle mode: Semi-Auto".
QUAKE (CAPTION): Sometimes you need to use a sword.
Panel Four - Closeup of Daisy's finger flicking a switch on the rifle.
Panel Five - A return to the HUD. Daisy is zooming out even further, and now we can see the entire building. It is filled with yellow dots, each representing a bad guy. One line of text reads "x250". A second line reads "Hostiles: 275". The third line reads "Rifle mode: Full-Auto".
Panel Six - Daisy leans away from the rifle. She looks annoyed.
QUAKE (CAPTION): And then, sometimes, every once in a while...
Panel Seven - Daisy has put the rifle down and stands, arms outstretched, hands open towards the building. She has her eyes closed in concentration. The building is showing signs of starting to shake under the effects of a highly localized earthquake.
QUAKE (CAPTION): You need to use a %$#@%$ SLEDGEHAMMER.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
1 - Daisy is at a laundromat, waiting on her washing. She leans against the washing machine, wearing some appropriate "laundry day" attire. There are a number of other patrons throughout the room, a couple folding clothing, some watching their drying, a guy getting a drink from one of the TARGET-Cola machines, and so forth. There's also the old geezer who presumably owns the establishment sitting behind the counter - it looks like he's sleeping in his seat (although hard to tell for sure with his old person sunglasses).
CAPTION (DAISY): You pick up a thing or two when you have the world's best spy as your teacher.
2 - Close-up on the couple folding laundry. If you feel the need, their wash could be primarily green, but that isn't important. Maybe coloured so the world around them is a little faded / greyed out to emphasize that they are the focus of the panel.
CAPTION (DAISY): For instance, it didn't take long to make these two as Hydra.
3 - Focus on the TARGET Cola machines in the back. While someone stands near them trying to get his cola out (maybe hitting the machine a bit), it's the machines that are coloured, while the rest of the panel is faded / greyed.
CAPTION (DAISY): It wasn't hard to recognize these as A.I.M.'s new Death-o-Matic Devices.
4 - Focus on the old (apparently) sleeping geezer. He looks about as dangerous as a tired kitten. As before, the world around should be faded / greyed.
CAPTION (DAISY): And although I've yet to figure out who this guy's with, I know that he will be trouble.
5 - Return to Daisy. She's taking out her wash, holding a bright red shirt in her hands. The rest of the world can be regular coloured.
CAPTION (DAISY): For all that, we occasionally skipped over some of the more basic stuff.
6 - Daisy's still taking out her laundry - maybe some of it is already in the basket by this point. The important thing is that the rest of the load was white clothing, which has now all been dyed pink. Daisy has a look of annoyance / exasperation on her face.
DAISY: Aw, not again!
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Panel 1- ME, banging my head against the keyboard of my laptop at my dining table; writer's block has struck again.
Panel 2- ME, looking up. A knock at my door has gotten my attention.
Panel 3- POV over my shoulder. The LUMBERJANES are huddled in one big, hands-folded, pleading mass.
Panel 4- Karaoke-pancake night at the Lumberjane's camp (the bedsheets banner behind me says so). I am on stage, scream-singing-rapping into a mike on a boom stand. On one side of me, I'm scratching on a turntable. My other hand is flipping blueberry pancakes in a cast iron skillet over a hot Franklin stove. The 'JANES in the front row scream with glee.
ME (somewhat musically): Seesaw swingin' with the boys in school and ya feet flyin' up in the air...
Sunday, March 1, 2015
RIPLEY (from within): -sigh!-
2 - Ripley sits on a lowerbunk, looking out the window in infinte sadness, her hand resting longingly on the pane, as if reaching for the sunny days she once knew. Molly sits next to her, looking kind of confused. Jo and Mal play cards, while April writes in her diary.
RIPLEY: The world will never be dry again.
MAL: Rip, it's only been raining for, like, an hour.
RIPLEY: (quieter) never again...
3 - Jen rummages through a big ol' wooden chest. Her heads is pretty much right in there, out of sight. She throws various items related to the words she's saying out of the box and behind her (like board games, construction paper, safety scissors, etc).
JEN (1): Don't worry, girls. I am prepared for all rainy day eventualities!
JEN (2): May I suggest playing board games, doing crafts, reading, sitting quietly, contemplating existence, slow motion tag, or the most thrilling pursuit of all --
4 - Pull back a bit to have Jen and the girls in frame. Jen looks up from the box towards the girls. She holds with her hand tracing an imaginary rainbow above her head (which actually exists as a real rainbow on the page, which reads: "Imaginations"). LETTERING NOTE: Jen's dialogue should come before the rainbow word. The girls look over, stopping their activites in wonder of where this is going.
JEN: Using our --
RAINBOW WORD: IMAGINATIONS!
5 - Repeat panel. The rainbow "Imaginations" has disappeared. The girls look on, stunned. Jen holds her pose, as confident as ever.
6 - The girls look towards each other uneasily, unsure of what to do. Ripley tursn back towards her window, reaching for absent sun once more. Jen closes her eyes and shrugs, a knowing look on her face.
JEN: That's fine. I'm just going to imagine you all liked my idea.
RIPLEY (quietly): Please come back, Mr. Sun...
Is that a for real question?
The Lumberjanes burst onto the comic book scene last year, coming out of nowhere to become a mad popular book in what seemed like no time at all. Indeed, it was quickly moved from an 8-issue limited series to an ongoing, and continues to go strong, with its twelfth issue due to hit shelves this month.
While its status as a critical darling took some by surprise, it's really not hard to see why it gets so much love. It's a book helmed by some crazy talented female creators that stars an all-female cast that is, above all, extreme amounts of fun.
That last one is always important to any book's success, but the first two points obviously deserve some serious attention. For all of the wonderful things that comics do, they still remain something of a boys' club, both when it comes to creators and characters. Admittedly, having an all-female cast is foolishly rare in pretty much all types of media, let alone comics, so that in and of itself is already a cause for celebration.
However, Lumberjanes also happens to be adorable, funny, and wickedly clever. So it's like win-win-win.
In case you aren't familiar with the concept, it focuses on a group of girls at summer camp that just so happens to be wacky and full of mystical danger. Seriously, they get into all sorts of scrapes, including battling with ancient gods, fighting yeti (yetis? yeties?), and trying to earn their next merit badge (to name but a few of their many activities). Also, it's all about exploring the true meaning of friendship, which one should always be on board for.
Also, there's plenty of puns.
Also also, they do fastball special jokes.
|(what more could you possibly want?)|