Friday, March 27, 2015

Beta Ray Bill - Sleeping with the Television On - Ray Wonsowski

Panel 1- Foreground, SUE STORM, sits at a table in the middle of one of the big rooms in the Baxter Building, overcome with ennui, cupping her chin in her hand exasperatedly. She is in her classic FF uniform. In the background, REED has his back turned to her as he tinkers with something Kirby-like, while BEN, JOHNNY, and young FRANKLIN and VALERIA kick over a board game as they argue with each other animatedly.

SUE: But woe, even in mine own home, I am invisible.  I yearn for, long for...

Panel 2- Standing in an open window, BETA RAY BILL, looking very Fabio, extends his hand to SUE. His hair is flowing gold, blowing in the breeze, unfettered by his usual helmet. His hammer hangs at his hip, and his cape flies from his shoulders. SUE clasps her hands to her heart in bliss, eyelashes aflutter.

BILL: Soft, fair Susan! Never hast thou disappeared from mine eye...or my heart!
SUE: Oh, Beta Ray!

Panel 3- SUE has torn open BILL's tunic, resting her head against his bare chest. BILL holds her by the small of her back, looking sidelong at something profound in the distance. They stand on a jetty, waves crashing on the rocks as the sun sets.

SUE: I cannot stop, desire overwhelms me. But what of Sif, and Reed...?
BILL: No matter, fair Susan. All there is, is our passion!

Panel 4- cut to the guest suite in Avengers Tower. A TV can be seen as SUE STORM is doing an interview on a talk show. BILL, in full costume, is asleep in a recliner, head back, snoring. SIF is coming up from behind with her shield held above her head with two hands as she's about to blasther him angrily, her teeth gritting in red faced fury.

BILL: (in his sleep) ...oh kiss...
SIF: (whispered) coming right up...


  1. Amazing. This is an excessively delightful script that is oozing with fun. The dream sequence reveal (or something similar) is clear from the moment Bill looks like Fabio, but that doesn't matter because of your crazy soppy dialogue throughout. I also dig the small addition of Sif hearing his dreaming and reacting in kind. Nice stuff, Ray.

  2. Guess you could say she's going to plant one right in the kisser? :^P

    I can't say I have any idea where the idea of a Sue/Bill relationship comes from at all, but it's a funny enough bit that I'm willing to not bother trying to figure it out.


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