Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Captain Britain - Warpchild - Ray Wonsowski

Setting: interior, the Hellfire Club. 

Panel 1 - BRIAN BRADDOCK sits at a dimly-lit table. He's dressed in a bankers-grey three-piece, no tie. A lingerie-clad serving girl,foreground left, places a club soda with a lime in it on the table before him. BRADDOCK, however, is looking at the tall feminine figure, clad in fur-lined white robes, foreground right (her back toward us, long voluminous blonde hair cascading down her back). He's slightly taken aback, but slightly smirking.

BRADDOCK: Well now, I must admit this is the last place I'd expect you to ask for a meet.

Panel 2 - Reverse p.o.v. BRADDOCK is looking up at the tall voluptuous figure of the OPAL LUNA SATURNYNE, looking haughty, yet nervous. The serving girl is walking away.

SATURNYNE: Necessity forced the choice of venue, Captain.
BRADDOCK: There are better places to hide, Mastrix.

Panel 3 - SATURNYNE slides into the booth close to BRADDOCK. She is furtive, a bit frightened, and scanning the room.

SATURNYNE: That depends entirely on who you hide from.
BRADDOCK: Who? Who hunts you?
OFF PANEL: I do...

Panel 4 -  A white haired CHILD in a navy-blue dress suit, white shirt with a red and gold silk tie, about age 10 or 11, approaches the table, hand extended as if offering a hand shake. Foreground, the faces of BRADDOCK and SATURNYNE, silhouetted, express shock.

CHILD: Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Clifton Dover. I am the illegitimate son of James Jaspers.
CHILD: I am heir to the Warp.

Panel 5 - CLIFTON waves his fingers, levitating the struggling BRADDOCK and SATURNYNE. BRADDOCK's helmet has materialized, and his suit is transforming into his CAPTAIN BRITAIN uniform.

BRADDOCK: ..nh..
CLIFTON: In ten years, I am to become the Captain Albion of Earth 3294. In twenty, I force the Omniversal Matrix to bear my seed.

Panel 6 - Close up on the face of CLIFTON, who sweats at the brow, smiling closed-lipped at his manipulations.

CLIFTON: Whose birth will herald the destruction of the Captain Britain Corps across all timelines.
CLIFTON: But not before I kill this one's first...


  1. Wowzers. Your knowledge of Captain Britain and company is astounding and used to (what appears to be) great effect.

    As my write-up may have indicated, I'm not overly familiar with the character, and so while I don't think I'm catching every single aspect of your plot (the hyperlinks do help, natch), I like what I'm seeing. Even though I'm not in on all the details, you clearly establish what's going on, the stakes, and create an intriguing glance into your narrative in a single page. Some impressive work. Nice last line, too.

  2. I'll admit I'm ignorant about Captain Britain, and my Marvel lore is weak, so I was a bit confuzzled by the characters, but it has a great atmosphere and tone set up, which carries it well enough to that sharp finale.


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.