Sorry I'm a little late - had my wisdom teeth out this week, which put me on my ass for a bit. But enough about me...
At the end of the previous page, Elektra, who was wearing regular civie clothes of some variety, encountered someone she recognized in a public park in the middle of the day. The reader did not see how it was, only seeing Elektra wave and say "It's been a long--"
1 - Black panel stretching across the page. Two captions boxes that should be placed in a slightly awkward manner to slow down the reader a bit.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (1): --Time.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (2): Stops.
2 - Top down shot of Elektra lying in a dumpster in a darkened alley at night. She looks to have just landed - quite awkwardly - bloodied and bruised. Maybe her eyes are still closed - either way, it's clear she's in a lot of pain. Of course, she is now in her signature costume - although it's in about as bad a way as she is.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (1): And spits me out a moment later.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (2): But it's not a moment.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (3): It's hours.
3 - Closer in, Elektra grimaces as she examines her side to realize that no small amount of the blood is her own.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (1): And I'm covered in blood.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA) (2): Too much of it my own.
4 - Elektra slowly climbs out of the dumpster - this is no easy task considering the wringer she has been through.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA): I have no idea what's happened.
5 - Looking at Elektra from behind as she stumbles out of the alley into the night. Perhaps she is leaning against the wall for a bit of support. She's in a bad way.
CAPTION (ELEKTRA): But there will be hell to pay when I find out.
Ooh, this is good. Noir, blood, a mission.
ReplyDeleteI dig this black panel transition at the top, it's pretty masterful. Then the time jump, and the images lead to this great final panel that should be given room to breathe.
I'd consider trying to cut maybe a quarter of your words from her captions.
"And I'm covered in blood." should become "Blood."
That sort of thing.
But this is ace, I'd read this!