Legend of Zelda - A Message from Link - R.A. Wonsowski

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Panel 1- LINK walking through the forest, sword over his shoulder. The sun is shining, and he waves to us cheerfully.

LINK: Hi, I'm Link. And like Jack Bauer on "24", you may have noticed I don't go to the bathroom.

Panel 2- LINK holds the Tri-Force up to us triumphantly.

LINK: Thanks to Tri-Force.

Panel 3- is a...

DISCLAIMER: Tri-Force may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are using Tri-Force. Tri-Force may increase your chances of not being able to empty your bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take including medications for overactive bladder. Tri-Force may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how Tri-Force works.  Before using Tri-Force, tell your doctor if you have liver or kidney problems. In clinical studies, the most common side effects seen with Tri-Force included increased blood pressure, common cold symptoms (nasopharyngitis), urinary tract infection and headache. If you get an erection lasting more than 4 hours, congratulations. In rare instances, men using Tri-Force reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision or hearing (sometimes with ringing in the ears and dizziness). It’s not possible to determine if these events are related directly to the Tri-Force or to other factors. If you have a sudden decrease or loss of vision or hearing, stop using Tri-Force and call a healthcare provider right away. BONUS COINS AVAILABLE ON SELECT MODELS, RESTRICTIONS APPLY SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. PRICES PLUS TAX, TITLE, LICENSE & FEES. DEALER RETAINS ALL REBATES & INCENTIVES. MUST FINANCE THRU APPROVED LENDER FOR ALL PRICES & PAYMENTS. DEALER NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS. PHOTOS FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY. OFFERS CANNOT BE COMBINED. MUST PRESENT TRI-FORCE AT TIME OF PURCHASE TO RECEIVE ADVERTISED PRICING. OFFERS EXPIRE DATE OF PUBLICATION. OPTIONAL EQUIPMENT MAY BE SHOWN. PREVIOUS SALES EXCLUDED. SEE DEALER FOR COMPLETE DETAILS. LEASES BASED ON 2500 COINS DOWN 24-39 MONTHS 10,000 MILES PER YEAR, WITH APPROVED CREDIT. ON SELECT MODELS WITH APPROVED CREDIT. 2500 COINS DOWN FOR 84 MONTHS AT 3.49% WITH APPROVED CREDIT.  LAST RESTRICTIONS APPLY, SEE DEALER FOR COMPLETE DETAILS. THE AUTHOR IS FULLY AWARE THAT THIS IS MOSTLY FILLER, BUT HAVING NEVER PLAYED ANY OF THE GAMES IS COMPLETELY IGNORANT OF THE LEGEND OF ZELDA, AND APOLOGIZES FOR PHONING IN THIS WEEK'S SCRIPT. HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US. GIVE GRANT MONEY.