Panel 1. A holographic display is projected from a complicated, Kirbyesque device. What background of the room we can see is mad eup of the same type of tech. We are clearly in a very sophisticated SCIENCE ROOM (tm), But our focus is on the hologram, which is showing us the beginnings of what looks like an org chart. HANK PYM's face is at the top, with a line descending to ULTRON.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Hank Pym created Ultron. Therefore, Ultron is Hank Pym's son.
Panel 2. The chart expands. A line leads from Pym's face to a hologram of JANET VAN DYNE, THE WASP.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Hank Pym was married to Janet Van Dyne. Janet Van Dyne is Ultron's mother.
Panel 3. The chart continues to grow. Now a line descends from Ultron to THE VISION. Other lines connect the Vision to WONDER MAN and the SCARLET WITCH.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Ultron created the Vision to destroy the Avengers. The Vision is Ultron's son.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): The Vision was created from Simon William's brain patterns. So Simon Williams is the Vision's brother. And so Simon Williams is Ultron's... step-son or something. The Vision was married to the Scarlet Witch, so she is Ultron's daughter-in-law.
Panel 4. Lines descend from Ultron to VICTOR LA MANCHA and JOCASTA.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Ultron created Jocasta to be his bride. So Jocasta is Ultron's wife. And also his daughter. Stop laughing. It's complicated when you're a robot..
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Ultron also created Victor La Mancha. Hank Pym is essentially Victor La Mancha's grandfather. Hank Pym also dated Jocasta, which is like dating his own granddaughter. So maybe Ultron gets it naturally.
Panel 5. A swarm of faces surround Janet Van Dyne. HAWKEYE, PALADIN, CAPTAIN AMERICA, HAVOK, and TONY STARK can all be seen.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): Janet Van Dyne divorced Hank Pym. She's been romantically linked with Hawkeye, and Captain America, and Paladin, and Tony Stark. These are all just basically guys who dated Ultron's mom.
VOICE (OFF-PANEL): But Janet Van Dyne fell in love with the mutant HAVOK, and, in an alternate future, married him, and bore him a daughter!
Panel 6. We pull back to see that Ultron is standing next to the hologram generator, pointing at it angrily. HAVOK is restrained in a complicated set of manacles.
ULTRON: So for the FOURTH TIME! THAT is why you just die... STEP-FATHER!
HAVOK: I'm sorry. I;m still super confused. Start again at the top?
Aw man, I forgot all about Victor.
ReplyDeleteA neat idea, and it starts well, but like the very lineage you're describing, it gets a little out of hand towards the end, and I think the script suffers from its length to the point where it overshadows what is a pretty good punchline. I think it could sing if you could find a way to cut it down a bit.
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