Sunday, June 28, 2015

B'wana Beast - Another Wednesday In The Jungle - P. A. Nolte

1/ Over the heads of four grubby mercenaries, all dressed like low rent Indiana Jones(es), a figure of solid muscle in a hood and a leopard skin loincloth leans playfully against the trunk of a very large tree, balancing expertly on a low, thick branch. The leader of the mercenaries below holds a small jade idol in the shape of a parrot.

B'wana Beast: I'm afraid that doesn't belong to you. 

2/ The leader nearly foams at the mouth with rage. His pistol is already drawn and discharged. If only his men would back him up. 

Leader: It's THE BEAST! FIRE!!! 

3/ B'wana Beast is between the three stooges, firing their weapons blindly up into the air as they are attacked. One gets a punch to the face while another gets kicked in the stomach, sending him flying back into the third stooge, but not knocking him over. 

B'wana Beast: That's B'WANA BEAST to you jokers. LORD of the JUNGLE! KING of CHIMERA! 

4/ B'wana Beast has landed skillfully, but the gun barrels of both men still standing are aimed at his head. Still, he grins. This is a fun game. 

B'wana Beast: HERO of the D-- 

SFX: KLIK Leader: That's enough. Any other last words before Eddie and I perforate your skull?

B'wana Beast: Just one... 

5/ Suddenly, a large blue monkey/warthog hybrid with powerful arms and dangerous tusks has crashed through into the clearing where his master fights the mercenaries. The leader and the last stooge are trampled, but B'wana Beast has jumped out of the way. 


6/ The hybrid nuzzles at B'wana Beast, who scratches under its chin affectionately, though his gaze never diverts from the incapacitated mercenaries on the ground. In his other hand, he holds the idol. 

B'wana Beast: Ha ha! GOOD boy! Er... BOYS. 

B'wana Beast: NOW. Let's get this LITTLE BIRDY back to KEN. I have a feeling the ZAMBESI will be glad to see it RETURNED.

1 comment:

  1. You strike a solid light-hearted and perfected silver-aged tone in this little script, while managing to slip in a number of small winks (I'm particularly partial to the "boys" line). Fun piece, Phil!


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