Friday, July 10, 2015

24:00:01 - I HVAE STIL... - Ray Wonsowski


Setting: Providence, RI Amtrak Station (see photo references here). There is a flapboard still working there, but feel free to reposition it if that fits the need...

Panel 1- sitting on one of the benches, leaning against his duffle on one end, is LEN CARTER, 40ish, a little paunchy, starting to lose his hair, but looks like he's trying to keep himself together. Dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, khakis, and running shoes, glasses on his nose. He is regarding a plain white envelope, weighing it in his hands. It looks torn in one end. One or two people are milling around him; a businessman carrying a briefcase talking on his cell, a young athletic woman in fashionable spandex jogging wear with a rolling suitcase, waiting. A homeless man sleeps on the floor at the bottom edge of the panel. Flapboard behind him reads: ARKHAM, MASS - 23:59:59

CAPTION: Dear Leonard Carter
CAPTION: Re: Randolph Carter, deceased

Panel 2- Same as above, but LEN has unfolded a letter, holding the envelope behind it, which looks heavy on the unopened end. A mushroom has sprouted out of the homeless man's ear.  Flapboard reads: I HVAE STIL - 24:00:00

CAPTION: I am pleased to advise that we have now completed the administration of your grandfather’s estate.

Panel 3- same as above, but LEN, letter open in his lap, tilts the envelope with one hand, spilling a large antique brilliant silver key into his other. More mushrooms are growing out of the homeless man's hair and clothes. The woman has sat on the other end of Len's bench, suitcase between her knees. The businessman is walking away.  Flapboard reads: NOT RSEOLEVD IT - 24:00:01

CAPTION: I hereby enclose this silver key, representing the sum total of the inheritance due to you.

Panel 4- same as above, with LEN shoving the letter back in his duffle, key still in his hand. The woman notices him, but LEN is unaware of her. The sleeping homeless man is now covered in fungi.  Flapboard reads: IN MY DRAEMS - 24:00:02

CAPTION: I would be grateful if you could sign and return the enclosed form to acknowledge its safe receipt. Sincerely, Hap Akeley, Esq.

Panel 5- same as above, except LEN has sprawled in his seat, head back, legs out, one arm on the bench back, the other hand holding the large silver key to his face. The fungal man has sporulated. The woman, looking at Len, licking her lips, unzips her running jacket to her navel, the sliver of revealed skin suggests that she's naked underneath. In the deep background, we see Morpheus from the Sandman walking with Morpheus from the Matrix in conversation.  Flapboard reads: FTHAGN - 24:00:03

CAPTION: Didn't even know I had a Grandpa Randolph. Jesus.

Panel 6- same as above, except the hand holding the key is now resting on his lap; LEN is now asleep. The sporulated form has now become a Mi-go (see here); the woman has also changed into a Mi-go, but still in the jogging suit somehow. The angles of the walls are starting to look wrong.  Flapboard reads: £T#@?&!π)(=%-# -  25:00:02

CAPTION: What the hell am I supposed to do with a silver key?
LEN: zzz


  1. Whoas. Some really eerie stuff going on throughout the page. Good use of the falpboard form in support of everything else you have going on here. I actually got a little tense reading through it, wondering if you were going in the direction I thought you might be - turns out you were and I'm glad of it.

    Why are mushrooms so unsettling? I'm almost more off-balance from that aspect than the Mi-gos.

  2. I loved this one because it really solidified what I was doing wrong with some of the drafts of scripts I was putting together for this prompt. Initially I had one on the subway, but this showed that I can't really change perspective, so I didn't use that one. Deeply creepy and out there. A nice script.


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