This would take place somewhere in the current Nick Spencer and Ramon Rosanas Ant-Man book with Scott in Florida to be closer to his ex-wife and daughter.
1 - Night time. We're in the living room of Scott's apartment. The lights are off and nobody looks to be home.
CAPTION (SCOTT) (1): Things have been going pretty well.
CAPTION (SCOTT) (2): I'm running my own business. I have this sweet apartment. And I get to see my daughter on the regular.
2 - Flashback. Scott is running into an auditorium / concert hall in a panick. As is his wont in this series, he's wearing the full Ant-Man get-up.
CAPTION (SCOTT): Although juggling all that could occasionally go a little more smoothly.
SCOTT: I'm here! I'm --
3 - Expand the scope to show that the place is pretty much empty. Cassie is sitting at her drumkit, mad, while Peggy is off to the side, a little disappointed. Scott is taken aback at his poor timing.
CAPTION (SCOTT): And sometimes I'm a little off.
CASSIE (1): -- too late.
CASSIE (2): I can't believe you missed my recital! This was really important to me!
4 - Cassie is having none of Scott's excuses. She's yelling at him, mad in the way only teenagers can be. Scott is heartbroken to have made his daughter so upset, and even Peggy seems to feel the reaction is a bit over the top.
CAPTION (SCOTT): In those moments, even though I know I'm giving it my all, well...
SCOTT: Honey, I'm sor--
CASSIE: No! You're the worst Dad ever!
5 - We're back to the empty apartment of the first panel, except this time we have a magnified inset panel to show that Scott is actually present. The zoom should be centered on the carpet, and the panel should show Scott sitting at the base of a forest of carpet strands that loom high over him. He sits on the ground, legs curled up, elbows on his knees. His helmet is off and he holds it in his hands, his head leaning forward against it, eyes closed. He can be crying or just frustrated with himself or somewhere in between.
CAPTION (SCOTT): It can make a guy feel pretty small.
Killer page Grant. You create an honest and emotional scene with such a limited space. The use of cut off speech between panels 2 and 3 is a great trick to twist the narrative and pull, us the reader through the page.ReplyDelete
That last line should feel silly and too on the nose, but you have created such a somber and gripping scene with those two book end panels, that damn if it doesn't land just right and pack a gut punch of sad right at me.
What a way to kick off the week.
Fantastic page Grant! Every panel lead beautifully into the next, with the payoff in panel five delivering - as Shaun said - a "gut punch of sad". Loved it!ReplyDelete
I really loved it. I agree with Shaun's comment your use of cut-off dialogue really was fantastic. It was a gut punch at the end. Really great.ReplyDelete