Scott
Lang, Ant-Man – Entomology – Derek Adnams
Page 1 – (5 Panels)
1.1: Exterior, day, a foot rising in
mid-stride off of a stomped dragonfly, lying eviscerated on a St. Louis,
Missouri sidewalk.
Scott Lang (caption): There are cultures out there where dragonflies
represent transformation.
1.2: Scott Lang in his Ant-Man gear climbing
through the crushed carcass of the insect.
He is starting a journey from the tail in this panel to the head in Panel 1.5.
Scott Lang (caption): I don’t put much faith in symbols, being more
of a machine guy, but as a system they are nearly perfect.
Scott Lang (caption): It’s funny how a bug that hasn’t evolved in
325 million years could come to represent renewal.
1.3: Now
Scott is at the base of the thorax, where is connects to the tail. It is shattered, all bug guts and goo and
decimated exoskeleton.
Scott Lang (caption): My kid made me listen to this song once. The only line I remember goes something like -
1.4: Scott Lang walking past the destroyed wings
of the dragonfly.
Scott Lang (caption): “Then I will remove your wings and you will learn
to fly”.
1.5: Scott Lang walking toward the reader, the
dragonfly’s head and enormous compound eyes in the near background. There is a clear substance coming out of one eye,
creating the illusion of crying.
Scott Lang (caption): Cassie always loved dragonflies.
A beautiful page that subtly builds towards a poignant conclusion. Your imagery here is bang on (esp. panels 4 and 5) and your captions lull the reader towards that last line.
ReplyDeleteMy one suggestion would be to maybe cut some of the captions towards the start. Particularly in panel 2 it seems like you could excise some lines without taking away too much from the overall piece - make it as concise and lean as the rest of the page.
That said, the last two panels are golden.
Thanks! There's a tingle in the back of my brain when ever I feel I may be getting too wordy. Critique like yours reminds me to listen to it.
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