Saturday, December 26, 2015

Frosty the Snowman - Rescue - P. A. Nolte

1/ An icy, metallic castle buffeted by harsh winds and buried in snow banks.  This is the frozen fortress of Klaus Zatan, cruel Imperator of the Southern Pole.

Cap: History is littered with those who have lost their way.  Misers without spirit.  Monsters with congenital heart defects.  But none so lost...

2/ Perched on his throne, swaddled in ragged furs, is the vulture-like visage of Zatan.  Chained to the throne beside him is a more familiar figure, the portly Santa Claus, who is not quite his usual jovial self at the moment.


Zatan: This is your last warning, brother!  I will not be participant to one of your wretched claymation specials!

Santa: But, Klaus...

3/ Santa is pleading now, but Zatan merely rolls his eyes.  This is the same sob story he's heard for centuries.  A slightly new wrinkle, perhaps, but otherwise well-trodden ground.

Santa: Stealing the toys children already have?!  Why, that's worse than no Christmas at all!

Zatan: Precisely!  When I give word, my army of gremlins will disperse!  At the flick of a switch, the chaos will begin, and--


4/ Their attention is drawn away from each other by the large boom of Zatan's throne room doors bursting wide open, and the figure that fills their frame.

Frosty (OP): I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Klaus.

5/ Frosty.  He is not the snow-covered 80's action hero you might expect in this setting, but the traditional snowman.  Hat, pipe, scarf.  The only difference is the heavy brow over his coal eyes.  Behind him are several piles of incapacitated gremlins.  At his side is Rudolph, nose gleaming.  As far as they are concerned, nobody ruins Christmas.  Nobody.

Frosty: Let. Santa. Go.


  1. Rankin Bass, eat your heart out! This is great fun, tipping the hat not only to those holiday specials of yore, but adding something to their mythologies as well. Merry Christmas, P.A.!

    1. And to you! I've been sitting on Klaus Zatan for a long time, so finally letting him out into the world to do his nasty work makes me far happier than it probably should.


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