Thursday, December 10, 2015

Itty Bitty Transmetropolitan - R. A. Wonsowski

Turn the Page will continue after the following public service announcement...

Panel 1 - the stage of a strip joint. A buxom, yet leggy topless dancer cavorting around the stripper pole in front of a red velvet curtain, a vacant look in her eyes, her nipples covered with pasties that look like UPC barcodes, wearing a Santa hat and a g-string decorated in jingle bells.  The disco lights barely cutting through the cigarette smoke, patrons and drinks are scattered and demolished like a war zone.

SPIDER (off panel, from behind curtain): Merry Christmas, sinners. Where parents buy blinky idiot screens for their kids so they can play with their new blinky idiot screens...

Panel 2- same as above, however ITTY BITTY SPIDER JERUSALEM has emerged from behind the curtain, walking between the stripper's legs with a cigarette between his teeth, scratching a match alight on the inner thigh of the dancer. He is speaking up at her breasts.

SPIDER: I myself never had blinky idiot screens growing up. Hang on...

Panel 3- SPIDER, now past the tables in the background, walks past a BOUNCER that looks like a steroid-filled Hagar the Horrible in a black suit and shades. He even has the horned helmet on. He stares blankly ahead as SPIDER jumps up and high-fives the BOUNCER and lights his smoke at the same time.

SPIDER: No, as I linger in my childhood olfactory memory of scrotal sweat and talc, I'm thankful for the greatest gift my parents ever gave me.
SPIDER: They bloody talked to me.

Panel 4- from outside Bazoom's Cabaret, ITTY BITTY SPIDER JERUSALEM looks over his live shades at us, cig in his teeth again and pointing at us accusingly.

SPIDER: Any shit-heel with unrestrained naughty bits can breed spawn.
SPIDER: Turn off your blinking screen and go hug your kid before you can't.

1 comment:

  1. Haha. I`m not sure that this really fits within the Itty Bitty motif, but then again, I`m hard pressed to complain about seeing more of your Spider Jerusalem. I also like how, like so much of Transmetropolitan, this page is preachy without being pedantic. Fun stuff.


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