Panel 1: Panel built around the lowest floor of DILRAJ MANN’S 014. MUSIC NOTES populate the top of the panel. The scene is much like what is seen in the original piece, with the man we see the legs of designated ‘HARVEY’ and the woman looking out the window designated ‘LAURA’.
HARVEY (1): I’m going to go upstairs and stab them.
HARVEY (2): All of them.
LAURA: Harvey, go put the knife away.
Panel 2: Continuation of PANEL 1.
HARVEY (1): This is not what we were promised with this apartment.
HARVEY (2): This is the exact opposite of what we were promised.
LAURA (1): Harvey, just call the building manager.
HARVEY (3): The building manager is up there with them.
LAURA (2): Is he?
HARVEY (4): Yeah.
LAURA (3): Oh.
Panel 3: Continuation of PANEL 2.
HARVEY (1): I could kill all of them if I really wanted to.
LAURA (1): Harvey, go put the knife away already.
HARVEY (2): Stab them all.
HARVEY (3): Stabbity stabbity stab.
LAURA (2): I said put the knife away, Harvey.
Panel 4: Continuation of PANEL 3. Beat panel.
Panel 5: Continuation of PANEL 4, though HARVEY has disappeared from the panel, having walked out of view.
HARVEY (1): (Off-Panel) You know I could do it if I really wanted to.
LAURA: Yes dear, I know.
HARVEY (2): Stabbity stab.
MK, I like how you link the balloons together by numbering them together, giving me the queue that they're attached and stringing off each other. It was confusing at first but I like how it changes.ReplyDelete
Thanks. It's actually a technique I've used for about as long as I can remember, I'm almost certain I picked it up from somewhere else but I couldn't tell you where specifically.Delete
Oh interesting! I've been playing with something similar by lettering the numbers for dialogue like 1 and then 1B for speech balloons that link together.Delete
I like the general idea you're going for here, MK, although I think the script might be slightly wordier than it needs to be.ReplyDelete
Also, when you have the panels written as "continuation of" the previous panel, do you mean that your page is lined-up as the bottom part of Mann's 014, making for a long, web-comic style page, or would this appear as a standard comic book page size?
I was imagining using it in a way to suggest the panel should largely resemble the one before it.Delete
It's a term I came up with for my own reference and use, so I can understand how would be unclear or confusing, I'm not sure if there's an existing shorthand term for it currently in wider use.