PANEL 2: Done the deed, they collapse in exhaustion, lazily caressing each other.
SEBASTIAN:
Wow, we’ve never been in sync like that before!
PANEL 3: Close up of Alison, looking quizzically.
ALISON:
We.. b-before?
PANEL 4: FLASH BACK: Alternate Universe ALISON and the self-same SEBASTIAN. They are sitting in an intimate restaurant, but there is miles of emotional distance separating the pair: SEBASTIAN is obviously being dumped.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 5: FLASHBACK [CONT.] SEBASTIAN is left alone and distraught at the restaurant table, collapsing in on himself. A bottle of wine sits on the table, fully drank, with a second bottle in SEBASTIAN's hand.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 6: FLASHBACK [CONT.] ALISON’S wedding, SEBASTIAN watching the newlyweds leave the church to much fanfare, but he across the street is sitting in his car, idling, and obviously crushed. A torn up or crumpled invitation (PLUS 1 visible on the invite if possible) and a gun is on the dashboard.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 7: FLASHBACK [CONT.] SEBASTIAN is in a top level security military compound. Around the room are dead military men and women, he is standing on a teleporter of sorts, and energy encases him as he teleports to another dimension. On the terminal screen we see a different dimensional earth is selected, amid a host of other different dimensional earth options.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 4: FLASH BACK: Alternate Universe ALISON and the self-same SEBASTIAN. They are sitting in an intimate restaurant, but there is miles of emotional distance separating the pair: SEBASTIAN is obviously being dumped.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 5: FLASHBACK [CONT.] SEBASTIAN is left alone and distraught at the restaurant table, collapsing in on himself. A bottle of wine sits on the table, fully drank, with a second bottle in SEBASTIAN's hand.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 6: FLASHBACK [CONT.] ALISON’S wedding, SEBASTIAN watching the newlyweds leave the church to much fanfare, but he across the street is sitting in his car, idling, and obviously crushed. A torn up or crumpled invitation (PLUS 1 visible on the invite if possible) and a gun is on the dashboard.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 7: FLASHBACK [CONT.] SEBASTIAN is in a top level security military compound. Around the room are dead military men and women, he is standing on a teleporter of sorts, and energy encases him as he teleports to another dimension. On the terminal screen we see a different dimensional earth is selected, amid a host of other different dimensional earth options.
CAP:
BEFORE.
PANEL 8: We have a close up of SEBASTIAN.
SEBASTIAN V.O.:
(1): ‘BEFORE’…
(2): The word turns to bitter in my mouth realizing I have fucked up this relationship…
(3): Again.
PANEL 9: Extradimensional law enforcers burst into the room, detaining SEBASTIAN, ALISON covers her body under the covers and looks truly mortified.
I mentioned this when looking over the script originally, but I love all them "BEFORE" flashback bits, revealing the lead-up to this epic fail. At 9 panels, it makes for a full page, but I think you use the space well.
ReplyDeleteOne, rather minor, thing I'd suggest would be possibly shifting Sebastian's "Again" in panel 8 to panel 9. In my mind, that and the dimension cops could add a bit of dark humour to the conclusion.
Regardless, nice page.
Will def. amend it as per your suggestion Grant. Will prob draw this sometime next week. Colleen read it and liked it, i mentioned drawing it, and she wanted it to be multiple pages, i told her its not gonna be decompressed like that.
ReplyDeleteShe also said it was a love story. I told her it wasn't, and in fact it was a perversion of love.
Haha. I'm with you in thinking this isn't quite what I'd call a love story.
ReplyDeleteVery excited to hear you're planning on drawing this up. Would definitely love to see it once it's done.