Friday, January 22, 2016

Mirror Universe--"The Worst Writer Ever"--David Press.

In which two different parallel versions of me take on different literary lives. This takes place after a the school psychiatrist has told me that a "learning disability" will never make me a good writer and attributes it to something completely stupid. 

7.1: On the left side is MU DAVE [Mirror Universe Dave], who stays and listens to the COUNSELOR in sixth grade.

1. COUNSELOR [O.P.]: If only you would stop focusing on comics you could get better as a student. 

7.2: And on the right side is EARTH-1 DAVE [real me] who is standing up and leaving the panel. He’s walking out of the room, refusing to listen to the counselor.

2. COUNSELOR [O.P.]: Dave? Where are you going?

7.3: Again, on the left side, we see HIGH SCHOOL MU DAVID as he writes for the school paper. The caption is what he’s writing.

3. CAPTION:          … Ms. Blanco was not convicted for murdering her husband, but administration doesn’t buy it.

7.4: On the right side, EARTH 1 DAVE sits in the computer lab with a bunch of grungy kids wearing Pantera and Slipknot t-shirts reading Watchmen and the Dark Knight Returns.

4. KID 1:           Man, Frank Miller or what, dude?
5. ME:               Yeah, you gotta read Ronin, Jeff.

7.5: Back to the left side: MU DAVE sits at a plywood desk with several other people typing furiously into Macbooks. Above all of their heads is the rainbow colored logo of GAWKER, and a big screen television display numbers that mean unique hit counts.


7.6: E1 DAVE delivering a pitch to JIM VALENTINO at a convention floor.

6. E1 DAVE:          The comic is called WORTHY’S CAUSE, and I hope you like it, Mr. Valentino.

7. VALENTINO:        Thanks, I’ll take a look at it.

7.7: Back to the left side and MU DAVE is holding up a letter with the SIMON AND SCHUSTER logo in the corner of it. He’s shouting off-panel.

8. MU DAVE:          NIKKI! Simon and Schuster gave me a three-book deal!

7.8: Back to the right side and E1 DAVE is holding up a rejection letter from IMAGE: SHADOWLINE. We can see a little bit of the FORM LETTER.

9. DISPLAY:          Dear Mr. Press, I regret to inform you that   WORTHY’S CAUSE does not conform to our current needs.

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