Saturday, April 2, 2016
Batman v Superman - Dogfight - P. A. Nolte
1/ Roulette, seductive owner of the criminal underworld's premiere casino and hedonistic playground, purrs into a hanging microphone. What can be seen behind her is minimal. A dirt floor with a trace of a white chalk circle. Chainlink fence. Maybe a few outlines of the spectators or flashes beyond can be made out, but just barely.
Roulette: Evening, boys. I hope you scrounged together every last ill-gotten cent for this little number, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and the floor is open!
Roulette: Tonight, we find out which cute, little puppy really is the Ubermensch's Best Friend. That's right, it's--
2/ Krypto, a white Bull Terrier. He's out of his mind. Snarling and snapping. The collar around his neck is hardcore. Steel with a cluster of red rocks that are clearly having an adverse effect on him.
Roulette: Krypto! The Mutt of Steel!
[Betweeen the panels of Krypto and Ace is the VS. chyron.]
3/ Ace, a black Great Dane. Also out of his mind. Also snarling and snapping. The collar around his neck is also hardcore. Steel with a series of tubes pumping a viscous green liquid directly into him.
Roulete: Ace! The Bat Hound!
4/ The crowd is full of low-tier DC villains. Any schmuck with a pair of tights and a strong enough commitment to a gimmick, no matter how terrible. The likes of Condiment King, Blue Snowman, and Sportsmaster are all in attendance. Sportsmaster is doing a little wave to the crowd.
Roulette (OP): Ooooo! Aren't they fierce?
Roulette (OP): Let's give a big thanks to Sportsmaster for acquiring all the elements we needed to really make this a show worthy of The House.
Roulette (OP): Each pooch has been outfitted wi--
5/ Over Roulette's shoulder, we see Superman hover through a crumbling wall and into the arena, his eyes pulsing red with the threat of heatvision. Batman picks his way across the rubble, already wielding a Batarang or three. The headlights of a Bat-vehicle of some kind, car or jet, illuminate them from behind.
Batman: We'd like our dogs back now...