Friday, April 22, 2016

Deal With The Devil: "2016 US Presidential Election"--David Press.

Sorry to infect this place with the baloney that is the primary race, but when this prompt came up this was the first thing that popped into my head so I just ran with it. Fortunately, it's short.

2.1:Cutting away to TED CRUZ. I love these things screenwriter Craig Mazin, Cruz’s freshman year roommate at Princeton, has been saying about Cruz. []. This is to give you an idea of the tone that I’m going with here. So Cruz here is standing on top of a tractor in front of a white Baptist Church. He’s wearing a Jean Tuxedo (jeans, jean-shirt, jean jacket), and shouting into a microphone like he’s a heavy metal lead singer, but he’s not—he’s a twat.

CRUZ:                And Iiiiii promise you, North Texas- that Pro-lifers will burn in Hell.

[Unattached]:        CRUZ CRUZ CRUZ!

2.2: Cut to: the interior of a dorm room at PRINCETON. Craig Mazin sits at his desk, typing on a typewriter while younger TED CRUZ stands on his bed, carrying on in a similar manner to the previous panel.

CAPTION:             Princeton University.

CRUZ:                    Ah tell ya, Craig, folks are going to hear from me. I’m gonna change politics!

CRAIG [Thought Balloon]:  I tell you, I’m going to get famous off this blowhard.

2.3: Sitting in an office, young Ted Cruz shakes the hand of a LAWYER who is radiating heat. Like waves of heat off this shady character’s backdraft.

CAPTION:             The Law offices of Karuthers and Pittant, LLC.

LAWYER:              Well that’s a fine deal, Ted. We’ll make you president, and protect your…rampages.

CRUZ:                    That’s all I want, Mr. Karuthers. Nobody is going to vote for the Zodiac Killer.


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