Saturday, June 11, 2016
Bebop and Rocksteady - Vidiots - P. A. Nolte
This is set during the last few minutes of Turtles Forever. Shredder has been defeated. The world of the Mirage TMNT has been saved, as have all worlds that are occupied by a version of the TMNT, but not all the loose ends have been tied up.
1/ On an enormous screen with an inordinate amount of buttons, levers, dials, and keyboards strewn haphazardly across its console is a timeline depicting various versions of The Shredder. The Mirage Shredder, his three mutated clones, the shark worm clone, the Utrom Ch'rell, his 2012 cartoon version, the 1990 movie version, the sad guy who heckles kids from the Coming Out of Our Shells tour, and so many more can all be represented. At the controls are the familiar 1987 Fred Wolf cartoon Bebop and Rocksteady. These are Bebop and Rocksteady Prime.
Rocksteady: You think we can pick up interdimensional cable on the boss's TV?
Bebop: -snort- I dunno, Rock. What's this button do?
2/ The screen switches to various versions of Krang. He has fewer versions than Shredder, but they tend to be far more menacing. Bebop and Rocksteady are having difficulty with the console, scratching their heads and fighting over who stands where.
Rocksteady: Stop messing around! I wanna watch The Adventures of Stealy.
Bebop: Uh... You do it! -snort- These controls don't work!
3/ The screen switches again, this time depicting a measly four versions of Bebop and Rocksteady: The 1987 Fred Wolf versions, same as the two who stand at the console, versions from the Mutant Turtles: Chōjin Densetsu-hen OAV, versions from IDW's current comic, and the mutated Steranko and Zeck from the current cartoon. Bebop stops messing with the console when Rocksteady points at the screen.
Rocksteady: Waitaminute, Bop! Look!
Bebop: Hey, yeah! -snort- Cool!
4/ At the console, with the screen still stuck on their transdimensional doppelgangers, Bebop and Rocksteady high five.
Rocksteady: Ha ha! They don't make too many like us, huh?
Bebop: -snort- You can say that again, Rock! Ha!
Raphael (OP): Laugh it up, lamebrains.
5/ Bebop and Rocksteady have their backs to the screen, their hands up, surrendering without a second thought. At the edge of the panel, pointed towards the villainous duo, are glimpses of all four of the Turtles' weapons.
Rocksteady: Aw, man...
Bebop: Looks like we're gonna have to wait for -snort- syndication...