Saturday, July 23, 2016

I Hate Fairyland - Puberries - P. A. Nolte


1/ Queen Gertrude preens in the mirror, blowing herself a little kiss.  In place of her usual stunted, violent, munchkin body is the form of a voluptuous 33-year-old.  Her proper age.  Around her are piles of ostentatious gowns.  The one she has on is a variation of the pink and yellow dress she usually wears with a little more of Maleficent's angular design sense.  Nearby, her guide Larrigon buzzes unhappily.

Gertrude: Mmmm…

Gertrude: Maybe I won't have to rip your FLUFFING wings off after all, Larry.  Just keep those Puberries coming.  Mama has a lot more dresses to fill out...

2/ Larrigon nervously clutches the brim of his hat.  Gertrude is unpredictable at the best of times, under the best of circumstances.  This is neither.

Larry: Well, uh, Queen Gertrude… I'm afraid I have some, uh, b-b-bad news…

3/ She continues to pose, oblivious to Larry's awkwardness.  Everyone is awkward around Gertrude, after all.  The smile on her face is, for once, non-threatening.  It could be that she's actually enjoying herself in Fairyland for the first time in a long time.

Gertrude: Maybe I'll forget about the Wishing Ale incident.  MUFFIN FLUFFER did you STUFF the bed with that one.

Larry: Yes, well, I--

4/ She holds out an empty woven basket stained with dark juice.

Gertrude: More berries, Larrigon!

5/ Larry, more nervous than ever, tries to avoid eye contact with the volatile queen.

Larry: That's precisely what I've been trying to tell you, my queen.  I'm afraid you've harvested and consumed the entire supply.  Every supply. 

Larry: And with your current tolerance level being what it is, and the violent mood swings you are, forgive me, prone to--

Larry: That is, um--  The effect of the berries will only last--

6/ In a puff of mist, Gertrude looks like a child once more, wearing the oversized dress that mere seconds ago fit her like a glove.  Her hand is firm around Larry's neck.

SFX: POOF!

Larry: hrk!

Gertrude: I. HATE. THIS. FLUFFING. PLACE.

1 comment:

  1. Haha. It was only at the last panel that I got what "puberries" was supposed to refer to. Fun little moment that sticks true to character and could easily slot into the story as it exists.

    ReplyDelete

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