1 - We're in a country cottage. Five figures sit at a table in a room that is filled with books, pens, quills, paper, ink pots, and various other writing tools. The figures are an owl with a moncole and vest, a clockwork butler, a wise old cowboy, a hobo clown, and a frog knight. The owl is evidently in charge, as the other four look to him demurely. All wear serious expressions.
OWL (1): Our noble guild is on the verge of extinction.
OWL (2): Those who haven't been slaughtered at her hands have renounced our life's work.
OWL (3): I put out the call.
OWL (4): We are all that's left of the proud narrating tradition.
2 - Switch angles to focus on the door of the cottage, with the gathered group in the foreground. A knock is clearly coming from the outside, bringing concern to the group's faces. The owl rises to answer the door.
SFX: knock! knock!
CLOCKWORK BUTLER: Who could that be?
OWL: Perhaps I spoke too soon.
3 - The owl stands at the doorway, the door open. He looks terrified, a dark shadow falling over him. The owl's monocle falls from his eye.
OWL: Maybe there are others who remain--
GERTRUDE (off-panel): Sorry, bub...
4 - Gertrude stands at the door, menacingly holding an axe. Lightning cracks behind her in the distance.
GERTRUDE: Story-time's over.
Ha! I love this. I think you captured the silly-doom aspect of the comic. Well done.ReplyDelete
Those poor, poor narrators.ReplyDelete
Nice with the last panel and the gleeful doom we get from this great comic. Reminds me of Darkwing Duck.ReplyDelete
This week, I'm kind of fixated on questions: what questions do you ask yourself when you're editing a script? Do you run a check-off list to make sure you're not falling for a nasty tendency? Or is it something simple like: are there too many words in the panel? What do you ask yourself?
Thanks for the kind words, friends.ReplyDelete
To your questions, David, editing is always a tricky part of it. In my initial drafts, I generally try to throw down as many words as possible (for dialogue), hoping that somewhere in the muck there will be something worth keeping. Once I have a complete draft of a script, I look over it for anything that I don't need or that might be better communicated through image alone. That's usually a lot. I find erring on the side overcutting is better than undercutting - believing in the reader to fill in blanks on all that.
How about you? What's your approach?