Friday, August 19, 2016

KLONDIKE GOLD RUSH-"Water Me"--David Press


1.1: A BOY, probably between the ages of ten and twelve, walks with a GIANT PANDA next to him in a green field. The boy wears overalls and a baseball hat. The Panda is carrying a basket—let’s called the boy ZACK and the Panda is MERTON.

ZACK:                                    Ma needs us to pick the apples for my birthday desert.
MERTON:                              Well we better get on it!

1.2: They stand in front of a creek, their basket filled with green and red apples. Zack is skipping rocks across the pond—we can see the little puddles stretching out into the lake.


1.3: Merton picks up something from the rocky shore. It’s GOLDEN. Just focus on his furry palm.

ZACK [O.P.]:                         Whatcha got?

1.4: In a Tarantino-style shot, they look down at the golden pebble in Merton’s hand.

ZACK:                                    We’re rich!

1.5: They’re on their hands and knees filling up their basket with gold stones and TOSSING the apples.

ZACK:                                    This is the best birthday ever! Wait’ll Ma see.
MERTON:                              I think we may be on our way to subsidizing the national debt!


1 comment:

  1. I really like the two characters you show us here. They seem like a warm, endearing pair - not unlike a Calvin and Hobbes, if you will.

    I like the general idea of what you have here, but I think the script (as a one-pager) would benefit either from one more or one less panel. The apples bit doesn't have quite enough for it to seem relevant - the whole action could open with them skipping stones on the lake - so I would say either give the apples a bit more focus or drop them completely.

    Of course, if this was part of a longer narrative, that piece could easily be addressed elsewhere. Just thought I'd throw my two cents out based on what's here.


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