Panel 1: YARQAD - the alien manager of a futuristic underground bot-fighting pit – and KILLROY – one of his employees – are in the bot pits talking with alias “METALHEAD”, a cyborg, who is trying to enter ‘himself’ into a competition.
Panel 1: YARQAD is confused by the situation.
YARQAD (1): What is this nonsense?
YARQAD (2): You tryin’ to tell me you’re entering yourself?
YARQAD (3): How that even work?
Panel 2: METALHEAD explaining himself.
METALHEAD (1): Simple.
METALHEAD (2): I step into the ring and fight whatever bot you throw at me myself.
Panel 3: YARQAD doesn’t get it.
YARQAD (1): You crazy?
YARQAD (2): We may not exactly be a legal establishment here, but even we got standards and rules.
YARQAD (3): You have any idea what kind of fights go on in there?
YARQAD (4): We’re talking fine-tuned killing machines, here.
Panel 4: METALHEAD and KILLROY; KILLROY is tapping METALHEAD on his robotic arm.
METALHEAD (1): Yeah, I got that.
KILLROY (1): Question – just how much of you is metal, anyhow?
METALHEAD (2): Why, what’s it to you?
KILLROY (2): You want a shot or not?
METALHEAD (3): …
METALHEAD (4): I’d guesstimate roughly half, give or take.
Panel 5: KILLROY has pulled YARQAD aside, and is trying to sell him on the idea.
KILLROY (1): You know, boss, over 50% could put him in the same fuzzy grey area as one of those wild safari showdowns.
KILLROY (2): Can you imagine the kind of crowd you could advertise with that kind of showdown?
Panel 6: Small panel as the idea goes through YARQAD’s head.
Panel 7: Small panel, effectively the second half of PANEL 6 – A conniving grin finds its way onto YARQAD’s face.
Panel 8: YARQAD and KILLROY turn back toward METALHEAD. YARQAD is looking far more receptive to the idea.
YARQAD (1): Well…
YARQAD (2): …I suppose we’re not exactly a legal establishment anyhow…
This was super-imaginative--I could picture all of it as a beautiful Star Wars-y brig situation. Great fun. I do think the panel count and the dialogue count is too much. For me, if I'm doing a more than six panel grid I try to keep the dialogue down to maybe two sentences. It's a stretch to have more than three pieces of dialogue in each panel. Though beautiful job with the world-building here. That was gorgeous.ReplyDelete