Friday, September 23, 2016

DON'T HUG ME I'M SCARED-"Grammar"--David Press


1.1: A TEACHER with a COMPUTER for a head stares at a classroom. Amongst the sleeping, hungover students are RED, YELLOW, and DUCK. Perhaps you can take this from the perspective of behind the Teacher's shoulder? 

1. COMPUTER:                     Who can distinguish between the passive versus the active voice?

1.2: In a flash of rainbow light a TOILET appears in the center of the classroom. The Teacher jumps back.

2. TOILET:                             IT’S EASY!
2B:                                          The toilet was clogged by me.

1.3: Yellow flips out in the background. He’s jumping out of his seat.

3. YELLOW:                          That’s the passive. “I clogged the toilet!”

1.4: Duck is up in front of the room and has grabbed the Teacher by his sweater vest.

4. DUCK:                               Don’t be passive! Be active!

1.5: Duck gives the teacher a SWIRLIE, but a godawful one. Blood splashes out of the Toilet as if it’s Old Faithful.

SFX:                                       FLUSH!

1.6: The Toilet EXPLODES spraying poop and Teacher Computer PartS everywhere.

SFX:                                       SPLAT!

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