(I started looking through Inktober images when I came across this hilarious little number by CHRIS VENDRICK and knew immediately that I had to try to use it. Especially when it reminded me something that at least used to be a thing on Wikipedia (It’s been years since then so I don’t know if it exists anymore or has been forgotten) that I believe was called ‘Calvin Random Chess’.)
Panel 1: Title Panel, reading “CALVIN & HOBBES”. A charred battlefield positioned between two really cool looking medieval fortresses. A couple of large, towering figures the resemble some of the roles taken by pieces on a chess set occupy the field.
CALVIN: (Text Box) The super violent and super bloody battle for ultimate domination continues.
Panel 2: WHITE PAWNS and WHITE KNIGHTS charge across the battlefield atop ferocious super-tiger attack mounts.
CALVIN: (Text Box) The White Army marches forward, undeterred as they crush all in their path!
Panel 3: An army of BLACK KNIGHTS stand resolute opposite the direction the WHITE ARMY is coming from. A handful of BLACK BISHOPS and BLACK ROOKS – which look like giant castle golems – stand behind them.
CALVIN: (Text Box) Yet the Black Army remains undeterred, as they wield a secret weapon given to them from on high!
Panel 4: A BLACK KNIGHT stands in an awesome-looking combat pose as it holds a machine gun and fires at an off-panel target.
CALVIN: (Text Box) They have machine guns!
Panel 5: CALVIN and HOBBES on either side of a Chess board, CALVIN on BLACK side and HOBBES on WHITE. The pieces on the board shouldn’t match up with what you’d expect from a typical Chess set in way that’s reminiscent of CALVINBALL.
CALVIN: Wow, I never knew Chess could be so much fun.
HOBBES: I don’t think we were ever actually playing Chess in the first place.