I may be on something of a theme at the moment.
1 - Interior of a shed that's been converted into a sculptor studio space. However, we're focused on one of its windows, looking out - the day is overcast and rainy, drops hitting the window. We can also see some of the windowsill and interior wall. Little work has gone into making this place habitable - it's all exposed and worn wood, rusted nails, and the like.
2 - Close-up on a well used and worn work table. There are various sculpting tools - hammers, chisels, calipers, etc - spread across it, but we're at a distance where we can't see the whole table surface.
3 - Closer still, looking at one of the hammers. Its handle was painted, but the colour has mostly worn away from the middle due to prolonged use. It's partially covered by a shadow - Serena's (the sculptor) hand above it.
4 - Focused on a block of marble sitting atop a pedestal. It's untouched, rife with possibility. Like previous panels, frame at a distance so that we can't see the entire block.
5 - Close-up of Serena's hand holding a chisel up to the marble block (we can't see the block, or really the end of the chisel, just the handle and part of the metal portion). Have part of the mallet hovering above the chisel, ready to impact down.
SERENA (off-panel): Here we go.
A fine page to go out on! I want to see a little more of Serena in that last panel, so... you're right on with the prompt assuming the next page is a splash of her beginning her masterpiece.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry to see you go, but I'm also excited to see what you'll be doing next. I expect big things, Mr. McLaughlin. Thank you again for inviting me to the site. It's been a real growth experience. We'll keep the fires burning, but know that they'll burn just a little less bright without you.
I like the page, it has an artistic weight to it that I very much appreciate. The first page has a deliberate feeling to its reveals. I do feel compelled to find out where the story goes next (gradual reveal, work montage, etc).ReplyDelete
My biggest concern is because the Serena appearance happens so late in the page there is little emotional investment to pull us forward.